Holy shit what the hell!

Writers blog block sucks!

Why was I not warned about this?…and the longer I haven’t written, the more I’ve been stressing about it, of course.

It doesn’t help that I have very little to inspire me. It also does’t help that everyone in the whole fucking cosmos that knows me knows about this blog.

Therefore, I cant gossip about neighbours, family or friends.

Which means I have to totally make shit up. And I’m trying to get healthy so I haven’t been drinking, and being sober is sooo not creative.

The most exciting thing I have done lately is squish a Chicco Baby between my fingers and realise that when it’s all compacted and shit it looks like ET. Yep.  Things are PUMPING in my house.

Then I have JMM on my back constantly asking if I’ve done a new blog.

I say no and he says..

‘Why dont you write about me? And how wonderful I am to you and how spoilt you are and you could write about my HUGE GUNS or you could write about how your so spoilt you dont even fill your own car with fuel anymore or you could write about my GUNS…or you could write about how spoilt and nuts you are that you go crazy if the slightest thing doesn’t go your way, or you could write about my guns

And I’m all like…

 ‘Fuck off gives a rats arsehole about your muscles and I am so not that fucking spoilt cos I could so put fuel in my car if I had to, like I’m gonna have to today cos you didnt do it when you took the car to the gym last night and I am pretty pissed about that cos even though I can do it doesn’t mean I fucking want to do it…so your gonna cop it when you get home…and write your own fucking blog.

You could call it MY HUGE GUNS.

As well as giving up alcohol, not that I drank much anyway, I have also been hitting my elliptical trainer.

I have decided that all this healthy crap was pointless as long as I was popping codiene like they were skittles. I dont need the pain relief anymore. I just grew to like the chillaxed feeling , but I think my liver has been looking for a new home so I’ve stopped.

My god being healthy is so fucking boring…

And being lucid the whole day listening to bubs ask for the gazillionth time “But why..but how’ makes me want to go fucking crazy. But hey..its all good.

I am planning to expand my shopping addiction.

Bubs asked me why I didnt have a doodle the other day. Then he asked me why I wee’d out of my butt.

Then last night he asked his homophobic  Father what a Homosexual was {he was watching The Simpsons]

I wish I had it on film. I thought it was priceless, but then I’m not a homophobe. I think it’s about time  JMM someone changed their attitude.

The child got the I’ll tell you when your older answer.

Well, thats it. A whole pile of totally boring bullshit.

Sorry about that,but I felt if I didn’t write something I may never write anything again…I guess some may think that not such a bad thing.

JMM mainly. Man up.



~ by shelly1971 on August 18, 2009.


  1. you are fucking funny when you are blogstipated.

    That is my new word. I totally just made it up.

    And you just reminded me, MPS hasn’t freaking filled my car. Dammit.

  2. Exxxxcccellent word!…Men are bloody useless 😉

  3. oh how i’ve missed you. quit with the testing of my pelvic floor. YOU KNOW who will win that battle and it wont be the sheridan sheets.

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