This post was going to be all vicious and shit about how JMM left for Melbourne this week and left  me behind in Perth with a labotamised teenager and a 3.7 year old megalomaniac because according to him we were to expensive to take even  though he has $***** squandered away and if I had given a fuck and paid more attention to the internet banking I would sooo be in Vegas right now drinking Daquaris and shit and not even thinking about dumb old Smelbourne.

And I was going to post about how his mates took their wives with them and how for the past week every time I checked our e-mail and saw another fucking stream from Facebook about who’s going where and who’s meeting up with who and fucking reading about people other than myself planning to have fun and getting  good and drunk and crap I went a little more insane with jealousy…cos I’m so not the type to say..

“Bye Hunny! have a wonderful time!…dont worry about me! I haven’t had a Holiday since 1987 but thats ok!..I’m a woman! I live to serve!!!….I was born to do it!

Nope. I am a spiteful fucker. It’s one of my personality defects…I’d be more inclined to smother you in your sleep.

So before he left he brought me that Elliptical machine I wanted. It’s AWESOME..I’m hurting that machine. I’ts the first contraption of torture I’ve enjoyed using…and it shut me up for about 3 days.

Until I thought…

‘Fucker can buy me an elliptical machine for my fat arse but cant afford to buy me a ticket to Melbourne?…What am I ?..Blonde?… stupid?

And I was going to post on how hurt my feelings are because I really wanted to go because I consider his friends my friends too and as far as I know I think they like me cos I’m funny dammit  and I wanted to get to know Neisha better and meet Mrs Belanji. I wanted to have some fun, before I forget what fun is.

But fuckit. I cant be arsed posting about it now.

I’m over it.

And holy shit have I had the BEST NIGHTS SLEEPS EVER. I’ve positioned myself right in the middle of the bed.

No snoring. No bed hogging. No snoring. No sweaty legs hanging all over me. No snoring. No hogging of doonas.

Did I mention I haven’t heard a snore?..Fucking marverlous…I swear I’ve been waking up in the same position I fell asleep in. Now thats a good nights sleep.


Tonight I watched Harry Potter with Bubs. He loves Harry Potter.

I dont find it as enjoyable

After the gazillionth time of answering his questions of  ‘But how’..with ‘ because it’s magic’

Only to be followed with a ‘But why’…I was really pissed at myself for being sober.

…..Post script….

Apologise my dear life partener. Deep down I know you spoil me rotten. And anyway, if you are offended you can always stop reading.  😉


~ by shelly1971 on July 11, 2009.


  1. that’s right. If offended stop reading………. that’s what my hubby did lol

    • I hope he stops reading. He also put my link on facebook, and told our neighbours about my blog. It makes it very hard to write. I’m annoyed…

  2. Sweetie, I think you got the point across nicely. Why don’t you buy him a nice new pillow for his return. Then deliver the ‘tontine treatment’ That will stop that annoying snoring. 😉

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