OK..I KNOW I BITCH ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME BUT DAMMIT WHY DO PEOPLE SUCK? [ not YOU people] I like you…all the OTHER ones.

Not far from my house is a dual lane road which merges into one lane. Not only does this road turn into a single lane, but about 50 metres from “the merge” is a left hand turn into the local shops.

OH MY GOD! So much to compute! Can I handle it?..  😉

This situation plus PERTH DRIVERS [and possibly my roadrage] is how Bubs learnt to say “You stupid dickheads“.

Why is it that 99% of people in this city find it impossible to merge?

Oh!! I know why!  I’t because Perth drivers are fuckwits! [except for me…of course.]

You can see the fucking pure panic in their eyes…

Oh! OH SHIT!!!…Where have the double lanes gone? Oh my God! What the fuck do I do! The roads turning into ONE LANE and a car is RIGHT FUCKING next to me! Holy crap I think I’ll just SLAM on my brakes right here in the middle of the road and hope for the best!.

Some awesome person placed a rather large sign on the side of the road awhile back that read…

        LEARN TO MERGE

       CALL  1800 FUCKWIT  NOW

Some arsehole took it down after a couple of days. Probably some WANKER that cant merge.

I was going all “crazy woman” about it to JMM yesterday when he tells me this …

That very day he was coming up to said merge when  the girl driving the car next to him decided she’d put her foot down to get in front of him.

So she half succeeded…then changed her mind and SLAMMED her brakes on.

He had to swerve as not to hit her car and he went NUTS. He was eating a burger at the time. He wound his window down, screamed ” YOU STUPID FUCKING COW!!!” at her and threw his burger at her….which of course came straight back at him and splattered all over his windscreen.  🙂 

I found this hilarious…cos it happened to HIM and not ME.

I have realised I also suffer ” Shopping trolley rage”…or more to the point , rage at idiots that stand in the middle of the isle with their trolley and “little Johnny” while I stand there waiting patiently to get the fuck past while they repeat..

“Little Johnny hop out the lady’s way, come on…little johnny listen to Mummy..out the way – times it by abizillion.

Lady , grab Little Johnny by the arm and PHYSICALLY move him NOW before I run him over with my fucking trolley… I think I have a problem with HUMANS…

Something totally off topic. I finally caved and brought a clothes dryer. I know, I know I must be the last person on earth to own a dryer…blah blah.

So I get my first load out of the dryer and chuck it on my bed to fold and I’m all gleeful at the dry warm clothes till I notice a shitload of white grainy stuff falling out of said clothes, all over the bed and floor and I’m like what the fuck is that shit?..Till i realise its WASHING POWDER that Bubs has FILLED the dryer with…which I then made JMM vacuum.

Never a dull moment with this child. Anyone want to borrow him?

 

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~ by shelly1971 on June 23, 2009.

8 Responses to “OK..I KNOW I BITCH ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME BUT DAMMIT WHY DO PEOPLE SUCK? [ not YOU people] I like you…all the OTHER ones.”

  1. I totally have human issues too, but you sound more like my man the Russian who loathes and detests the many dickhead drivers Australia seems to produce. Living in Germany whenever I chat to the locals about their One In A Lifetime Unforgettable Holiday Down Under it takes about 5 seconds for these autobahn freaks to start bitching about our national driving issues. Duhh, Perth would be worse… those cowboys have only had to start merging in the last five minutes. Before that it was a lonely wave on desert highways and keeping an eye out for roos at dusk.

  2. Estelle dont even get me started. You should see the morons over here trying to navigate a Rounderbout. Everyone sits and stares at each other cos none of them know who’s meant to go first. IT DRIVES ME NUTS! lol. One of JMM’s dreams is to hit the Autobahn 🙂

  3. LOL i was in perth for a WEEK and nearly had about seven trillion accidents. i wasn’t even driving ! it probably didn’t help that our hire car was only marginally more powerful than a pushbike.
    you are lucky you have a dryer. i’m DYING for one. and an electric blanket. the beloved flatly refuses to buy both.

    • Yep…worst drivers EVER. I want an electric blanket as well, but JMM wont get one. He doesn’t feel the cold on account of being hairy…

  4. Mow little Johnny down. And when you do, please write about it so we can all enjoy the moment.

  5. did you see the guy in the other lane sitting there blocking traffic while his wife ran into the shops real quick?

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