FLYING INTERSTATE FOR CHRISTMAS- or how to get fucked royally by VIRGIN-or QANTAS

Because I am not getting fucked by JETSTAR…oh no. That will not happen.

JMM is off for a “reunion” with “The Boys” in a few weeks. To Melbourne.

When first I heard I said..”Go on your own. It’s to expensive”.

Then I thought..”NO fuckit I want to go” cos Neisha started talking about Daquari consumption..but when I said so I got the look. And then he said it. WE are to expensive to take.

Which really means..” Man, I just want to go get pissed with my buds for 3 days without worrying about you guys”….I shall hold my tongue…

Now JMM has decided he wants to spend Christian  Christmas in Swinebourne  oops..Smelbourne oops Melbourne.  😉

I say to him..”Where do you want to stay”…and he says….

“If you dont want to stay with my parents we will stay with my sister”…

Sure buddy… I’m going to go stay with your parents…even though I wasn’t allowed to step foot into your parents house for 4 fucking years. Four years of sucky fucked up shit christmases.

It appears, on account of me spitting out the first Grandchild your Father now “loves me”…

Dude..he met me for ten minutes. On the night we left to drive to Perth. He does not fucking know me.

Excuse my fucking sniggering…and kiss my arse. If I have to have a Christian Christmas, I’m sure as hell staying in a hotel. Even a little Gods a bit to much for me. We dont see eye to eye on a few things. Mainly the Bible.

Anyhoo…there is a reason for my dribbling.

I want to know why I can go to Singapore for $450 return…and have a fucking AWESOME time..

Yet to fly to Melboune for Christmas the Bloodsuckers of the air want to cop me around $280 ONE WAY!!!.

There are four of us going, people.

Thats right. Around $2240 [ maybe more] to go to fucking Melboune and back.

And Tourism Australia are all whinge bloody whinge about us Aussies preffering to travel overseas before traveling our own country… DOH

Not to mention the $180 a night the Monte Villa will scew us for when we get there.

[ Anyone planning a trip to Perth you can rent a WHOLE HOUSE  5 minutes from the beach for $650 a week, sleeps 6, starting price].

If we went now..$210 return. Fuck. Jet fuel must be so much more expensive at Christmas time. Profiteering  bastards.

I’ve tried to talk JMM into going now instead of Christmas. I mean who cares when we go?

Isn’t the whole point of the trip to catch up with your family? …and the fares would be half price.

And then I would have HEAPS more money to GO SHOPPING…and buy shoes…cos last count I only had 55 pairs.

A note for Melboune Tourism.

You guys really need to step up to the plate in ways of “Family accomodation”

Not all people that come to your state are carefree single fun loving fuckers without a care in the world.

Some of us are dragging pain in the arse energy sucking critters with us. We dont all want to stay in the city.

Or Werribee South caravan park…vomit.

Dont even get me started on the plane ride with Bubs.

The other day we were reversing from our driveway when Bubs noticed there was mail in the letter box.

And he went FUCKING POSTAL…no pun intended.

STOP  THE CAR THERE’S MAIL!!!! LETTERS!!! GET THEM GET THEM!!!….He was screaming his eyes out. We had to pull back into the drive and get the mail.

He was still crying…till I gave him a “letter”..at which point he shut up INSTANTLY…and read a chemist brouchre all the way to the shops.

I am NOT fucking sitting next to HIM on the plane.

Post script….Fruit Tingle consumption may have occured while writing this post.

My appologies for any non-sensical ramblings…and spelling errors.


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~ by shelly1971 on June 19, 2009.

10 Responses to “FLYING INTERSTATE FOR CHRISTMAS- or how to get fucked royally by VIRGIN-or QANTAS”

  1. The disappointment of checking your site for a new post to no avail is totally worth it when a new one does come along.
    Enjoy Melbourne!

  2. Thankyou kind sir!..I would write more but I have very little to inspire me…lol. I’m sure I will enjoy Melbourne. It’s a love-hate relationship 😉

  3. you guys are welcome to stay here, you know that, don’t you ? my offspring probably wont be here either the weekend JMM comes in july (hopefully with you) OR christmas so theres 2 spare rooms. discuss it between yourselves and save yourself some serious shopping dollars.

  4. You’ve got to do a Christian Christmas. Oh honey, my back teeth ache at the thought.

  5. fuck! Imagine how many mailboxes you’ll fly past on your way to Melbourne!!

    I wouldn’t want to sit next to him either 😉

  6. I have to leave my beloved Melbourne to spend Christmas on the Gold Coast with my family. I’ve yet to book the plane tickets because I really don’t want to go. :: shudder ::

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