THINGS THAT SUCK…..WITH CUTE SHIT AT THE END.

The Duggars.

The Duggars suck cos who the fuck has 17 kids?..I mean really woman does your husband ever get the hell off you?

Listen up Duggars…GOD created SMART people…who became scientists!…they then created BIRTH CONTROL!.   If GOD didnot want such things to be invented, he would have made us all fucktards…like you.

Y’all should try some birth control!…or shove a cork up it or cut it off or something cos DA-AMM..17 KIDS.

Shitty restaurants SUCK…and they suck even more when the last time you got to go out with your man was to see BATMAN THE DARK NIGHT azillion years ago so you’re  REALLY looking forward to the evening and  you get to the resaurant and you order a ceasar salad cos your a creature of habit and you always order that and the waitress brings it to your table and its a BAG OF FUCKING MIXED LETTUCE..not COS..and cold greasey bacon and HARD BOILED CHOPPED UP EGG and fucking MAYONAISE and  JMM  I paid $16 for this shit and I ask for another Vodka Cruiser [when I really wanted a Friut Tingle but they didn’t know how to make one]  and she brings me a BACARDI BREEZER and I say…I wanted a VODKA CRUISER and the waitress says….

“In ENGLAND we dont have Vodka Cruisers..we drink Bacardi Breezers.We only have Bacardi Breezers, IN ENGLAND”…

and I crack my empty cruiser bottle over the side of the table and glass the dumb bitch

Well fuck off back to ENGLAND and get yourself one you usless twat.

and then for desert I order a Vanilla bean icecream rolled in chopped Nougart and the bitch  waitress brings me a fucking scoop of CHOCOLATE icecream rolled in NUTS……but I wont say anything cos WHAT IF THEY SPIT IN MY FOOD…

 

And I want to kill JMM cos as I said I’m a creature of habit and we always go to PORTAFINOS which is AWESOME but he was all like…”I want to try somewhere different”…well no more trying to be exciting for you mister.

FOXTEL SUCKS TOO…Foxtel you suck because you rip me off blind, yet you cant make a remote control that fucking WORKS…Foxtel spawn of satan shit.

My sucky parenting sucks…like when I leave my 20kg retriever[named Charlie]  inside with the bubs while I’m in the shower and when I get out the dogs retrieved every article of clothing it could get its teeth on, chewed up two hats, a picture off the fridge,four baby wipes and a packet of readymade icing  and the Bubs is jumping up and down on the lounge yelling ” Go Charlie go…Go Charlie go!”

And counting sucks.

Like when I start counting when I’m doing stuff, but only up to 7. Like climbing stairs…1234567..1234567..

Brushing my teeth..do the front..1234567…the left side…1234567.but I dont do this ALL the time. It’s a strange phenomenon…..

Cute stuff…

The other day Bubs was commanding the room, all wild hand gestures and stuff, telling me he is..

” Going to buy a horse…It will  be a small horse. It will  live in the house. It will be as big as a hamburger”…[extands hands about 20 cms]

His grammar has not been tidied up for your benefit. The child actually speaks like this.Cracks me up.

Last night JMM asked him what he wanted for dinner.

“Slime”…

JMM…”What flavour slime do you want”..

Child rolls eyes..”Slime doesn’t HAVE any flavour” …DOH…

Thats it. The sucky and the cute done.

 

 

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~ by shelly1971 on May 31, 2009.

8 Responses to “THINGS THAT SUCK…..WITH CUTE SHIT AT THE END.”

  1. slime has no flavour lol

    Your bubs sure is an interesting little fellow!

    Pity your foray out for tea sucked.

  2. I asked the tiny terrorist ‘mini K’ what she wanted for breakfast and she informed me that she was going off breakfast. Hmm, methinks, does this kid think she’s fat or something stupid like that? No, she’s already helped herself to the black forest cake that was thawing for dessert tonight.

    She informs me that the dogs got it out of the fridge, she was trying to put it back and her mouth fell on it.

  3. Fuck me dead what a literary roller coaster ride that was. Awesome! Such a head fuck in the best possible way.

    When you paid the bill for your shit salad and totally wrong alcopop you should have dropped a big dirty bush oyster in the little tray as a tip for that smarmy English waitress – the bitch!

    Who are the Duggars, and how does she still have a uteris. If you have 17 kids there’s every chance you’d have to hate at least one of them. That would not be nice.

    • The Duggars *shudder* are often featured on discovery health channel on foxtel. Be warned…if you watch you may vomit. You think that was a head fuck?…Thats me on a good day. ..I’m LOOPY…meh. 😉

  4. Enter that hamburger-sized gee-gee in the Melbourne Cup and I’ll toss $5 each way on it 😉

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