As a parent, you know things are going to shit when your actually excited to see your son loaded into the back of a divie van.  Oh yes, lucky me. This was the start to my morning. But it all started last night.

J was “given a free ride home” by the PO-PO again last night.

Apparently J thought it a good idea to buy a piece of shit car off some ‘derro’ he’s been hanging around. He’s been leaving it in the scummy suburb over from ours and using it for ‘smoke runs’ and’ bush bashing’.

Last night the cops caught him. Driving. Without a liscence. Ripped off his head on ‘wacky weed’.

This would make it the third time he’s been escorted home by the boys in blue.

The coppers and I discused at length the pathetic and rapid disintergration of our society…I also may have requested a good tassering for the wayward teen. I even offered to sign a waver. I think the copper actually considered it.

Things are turning to shit in this neck of the woods.

So anyway, in a few days time I, as Js ‘mummy’ and therefore legal guardian will have the pleasure of receiving a summons to attend court with him.


Ahhh…takes me back to the ‘Peter’ days. Alot to be said for genetics, I’m afraid.

Thing is, JMMs finally had enough. He’s royally pissed off and he fired J.

Now J is jobless.

Worse than that…now J is out from under JMMs wing. And that scares the shit out of me.

I am worried for what this kids going to get up to with time to burn.

On top of losing his job, I also grounded him.

I dont give a fuck if he’s nearly eighteen. He’s under my roof and he’s turning into a dick. Having confiscated his house key, I am fully prepared to put the house on lock down for a month.

I’m thinking if I can do that, and he cant get stoned for  that time, he may start to think a little clearer. I dont know.

So as I said, he’s grounded. So I get up this morning and the buggers gone. I’m thinking, ‘How the fuck did he get out of the house?’

Oh shit, thats right…I forgot about that key confiscating thingy..[ did it today I’m a dick]

So I’m in my scabby PJs, as usual, bed hair and yesterdays mascara halfway down my face, having a huge bitch rant to JMM on the phone about ‘Houdini’, when I look out the window and see above mentioned divie van sitting in my driveway.

Fuckmegoddammittohell…every time the cops come the house is a fucking PIGSTYE…this is my first thought..[ no pun intended on the ‘pigstye’ bit] and Bubs had no pants on and snot all over his face. .. Trifecta.

My second thought is…whats the little fucker done now.

My third thought is..he’s bigger than me …what can I beat him with..

He’d gone back to that stupid car…yep, and ran across some thieving junkie piece of shit the coppers have a warrant out on. The thieving junkie left J standing there like a deer in headlights when they got nabbed, of course.

Apparantely thieving junkie wanted to buy the car from J….so he could use it, as Mr Police Man informed us, for ‘B and Es’.

I was most impressed with the cops that brought him home this time.

The  male officer put the fear of god into J.

Told him he would have to remain in custody until they verified that the car wasn’t stolen.

J  had a melt down, even started crying a little. Freaked him the hell out.

The cop says..” Well son, say bye to your Mum. We’ll give her a ring later and let her know whats going on”.

And they shoved him back in the van.

Course  they brought him  home fifteen minutes later.

Course I was in the fucking shower and had to get out and stand at the door with fucked up hair and shit this time.

And the small one was STILL pantless…but no snot.

J was telling the truth about the car. He’d bought it off some wanker for $100.

The female cop gave J credit for not running away when they spotted him.


While we were talking at the door, thieving junkie had completed two burglarys.

Cops left. Business to attend to.

He’s not a bad kid, J, but he sometimes hangs around bad kids. This is not good.

I am at least thankful that I’m ‘drug savvy’. I know he’s not doing anything other than pot, and it’s pathetic to me to be happy about that.

Pot….the lesser of a dozen evils. Fuckit.

At least he talked to me a little today. He was tinkering in the shed so I took him some lunch and a juice on a plastic plate and couldn’t resist the comment of  ‘There you go…just like jail’.

Cos I’m supportive like that.

All in all I’m pretty lucky. I know that. It’s bad times out there now.

JMMs little brother is only fourteen and he’s doing things alot worse, and he’s had a christian upbringing.

I myself was a major piece of teenage work. At times I amaze myself that I’m not only alive, but lucid  🙂

Having teenagers is NO FUN AT ALL.

I hope hope hope he gets out the other side.

I’m not losing him. I’ve fought to fucking hard.

Some body needs to open a boot camp.

Or stick their boot up someones arse…

Or have  enforced basic training in the  Army for kids that are getting off track.

A bit of  totally fucking useless   trivia. JMM did his Basic training in  the army…with the ‘Commando’ from The Biggest Loser.

Yep. They were yelled and screamed at together. Special.

The end.


~ by shelly1971 on May 12, 2009.


  1. lord, i was a bastard of a teenager. i’m terrified of offspring#1 getting older..she’s creeping up to 8 and i’m already packin’ it.

    i dread her getting a computer and a mobile..when i got mine at 13-14 the first thing i did was look for boys. (and found them)

    any urges for drug taking would be soley from her dads DNA so in that event, i have a lil speech prepared.. (feel free to use it.)


    Or.. ” under 18 may be child abuse, over 18? i’m happy to wear an assult charge.”

    seriously though, good luck in court hun, *shakes head* j must have really crossed the line this time, that JMM has the patience of a saint. however, i cant help but be amazed, he was in the army ?? i learn something new about him everytime i read your blog. LOL

    • I’m going for the ‘assult charge!’ lol. And its true! lol..JMM was in the army. Ask your Beloved about the night we had the huge water fight and JMM opened the door to the pizza delivery guy while he was dressed in his ‘Cammo’ gear and a utility belt chock full of daggers…Poor kid shit himself.

  2. We love the commando!! lol

    have no words of wisdom just lots of empathy.

    My poor mother last week was horrified to see her younger two children’s names in the local court reports for damaging property………. and one of them is 23, the other 28 and this shit started for her when the 32 yo was 12. It’s not that reassuring having a long term relationship with the police under those circumstances


    hugs even

  3. Pat him on his bottom and say, “The boys in the green tracksuits are going to love that little bottom of yours”

    He’s nearly 18. Once he’s 18, he’s fucked. Hit him hard with the facts, right between the eyes.

    • Trust me, thats already been said. Even asked the officer if he could lock him up for a few hours with some crettin that may find him attractive. There is nothing for the delinquants to fear these days.It needs to start with bringing corporal punishment back to the schools. Adults need to harden the fuck up and take back our authority. Thats what I think.

  4. wow yea teenagers suck ,I have 3 and 4 more in the making .My brother was like your boy , you know how we left perth all those years ago it was because of my bro .We had toleave to get him away from the shit he was hanging around.Anyways I hope he smartens up before he gets locked up

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