Yesterday was Mothers Day.

The day we are meant to spoil our Mothers and thank them for a job well done.

But what if they’re not deserving of such accolades?   

Many of us have Mothers that fell short of the mark. I haven’t seen my own Mother for around a month, nor spoken to her.

I really only rang her yesterday so I could tell myself I did my part. So she couldn’t whine to all that would listen that HER BAD DAUGHTER never bothered to wish her a Happy Mothers Day.

She spent most of the conversation asking me about my sister, because they’ve had a falling out. She told me she thinks my sister is schizophrenic, to which I replied” well I guess I am too then”. She tells me we ” both need to get sorted out or we will end up stuck in a place like her work”.

She works in an old age facility. She is a moron.

She then asked me when my surgery was, so I told her and she told me I’m going to have a ‘great big ugly scar’ on my stomach.

Thanks Mum. T’was a delightful and upbeat conversation, as always.

Well, I think I should thankyou here and now Mum, because I’m not brave enough to thank you to your face.

I thankyou mum for telling me about the time when I was two ,and how you belted my legs with the cardboard insert of  an Alfoil roll, and how you were scared Dad would notice the marks so you bathed me and put me in my PJs before he got home from work.

I thankyou for the time when I was five and my  cousin was four, and we were fighting over my guitar and you came tearing out of the house and grabbed it from us and smashed it to pieces.

I thankyou for the time my sister and I were fighting so you banged our heads together.

I thankyou for the time when I was eight or nine and you threw me on my bed and slapped and pinched and punched me for what felt like hours, because I didn’t clean my room.

I thankyou for hugging me and telling me you loved me after you did it. Unfortunately it’s the only time I remember you telling me that.

I thankyou for telling me, when I was nine, that I couldn’t have the gorgeous glitter threaded bell adorned Indian skirt all my older cousins were wearing  because I would look awful in it because I was too  fat.

I thankyou for my poor body image.

I thankyou from the bottom of my heart Auntie Chris for buying me  the skirt anyway.  🙂

I thankyou mum for the day we got our wires crossed and I waited for you to pick me up from school in the wrong spot. I waited and then I was the only kid left so I walked home. I remember how furious you looked when you got home and got out of the car. Your eyes would bulge from your head. I opened my mouth to explain but you punched me in the stomach and winded me. I sunk to the ground outside the front door and you walked right past me and went inside.

I thankyou for not considering what a poor role model your stupid pill popping pot addicted boyfriend would be on your teenage daughters.

I thanyou for keeping me supplied in pot all through my teens. You started my dangerous foray into the would of drugs. But I am stronger and smarter than you.

 My sister thanks you for the time you drove past her and waved, while she was walking to school in the pouring rain.

I thankyou for telling my then fifteen year old J that its perfectly fine to smoke pot, and when I had a go at you for saying that and J laughed you went nuts and slapped the hell out of him.

I thankyou for thinking its fine for your boyfriend to get stoned in front of his ‘Grandchildren’. Yet you still wonder why we dont come to visit  at your house.

I thankyou for telling all that would listen at Bub’s last birthday what a ‘bitch of a child I was’. It was very nice of you.

My sister and I both thankyou for taking no responsability whatsoever for the way our relationship is with you now.

I do appreciate some things you have done for me. I am glad I was born. I thankyou for all the times you helped me out financially  while I was with Peter.

The thing is, I would never have even bothered with the likes of Peter if you had done your  job right.

You didn’t teach me how to love myself. You didn’t give me confidance.  You didnt teach me self respect.

One thing I have learnt from you is how not to mother. I dont want to be like you, because you havent a clue.

It’s strange to me that as the years go by I get more and more bitter towards you. I always thought it would be the other way round.

And just so you all know, things werent so bad when I was a kid. We had a nice house. We had lots of stuff. My Dad spoilt us girls rotten and I cant remember him ever raising his voice at us.

My parents never argued in front of us.  My mum has told me with much enthusiasm how ‘awful’ my Dad was to her. Doesn’t matter to me. He may have been a bad husband to her but he’s always been a good Father.  I cant ever remember hearing my parents yelling at each other.

So mum I really hope you had a Sucky Mothers Day. You need to own your mistakes mum. Whale and I need for you to do that.

On a lighter side I had a funny Mothers Day.I was quite excited this year cos Bubs understands so I knew I was up for heaps of cuddles and stuff. I mean this kid is a Mummys boy.

I swear he’d crawl back into my fucking uterus if  he could.

Except for yesterday.

Yep. On Mothers Day  he didnt like me anymore. We were going out but he was not happy at all that I was comming.

“Mummy cant come Dad, ok Mum? No girls, just boys no no no. No Mummys are aloud to come”, and he’s shaking his finger at me.

Cracked me up. This kid is so left of centre it’s  hysterical.

Thats all folks   and I hope you all got spoilt yesterday  🙂


~ by shelly1971 on May 11, 2009.


  1. Your little man in a hoot!

    Happy mother’s day to you!

    and happy un-mother’s day to your craptacular mother.

    • My Mother is ” spectacular craptacular!!” lol…And he is a hoot. If I followed him around with a video camera I’m sure I’d win the big one on “funniest home videos”. He is a total nut and I just love him. 🙂

  2. jesus. i could have written that entire post to my mum from myself. and the kicker ? I WAS BORN ON MOTHERS DAY.
    my mothers day was le` awesome. my kids were on the OTHERSIDE OF THE COUNTRY..i did ring them though..and missed them, and contemplated harassing jetstar into flying me home early..instead i did my 2 favorite things, i read a book and took a nap. best. mothers. day. ever.

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