SOOKY MUSHY MOTHER STUFF…cos it’s my blog and I can if I want

Reading Anja’s  post today,and commenting on it got me thinking about my child and I got all clucky and full of LOVE DAMMIT.

I’m going to indulge myself in posting about my nutcase  gorgeous,lovable,cheeky 3 year old bubs, and a sampling of  some of the  craziness he’s done this week.

You must first understand that this child NEVER STOPS TALKING.[ which I am grateful for on account of J not talking well for a very long time]

I still have a monitor in his room and as soon as he opens his eyes he starts. ” Oh look its daytime![ hear his door open] “Mummy its day time come onnn go in the lounge room, the lounge room”[ repeat 70 gazillion times]. I really need to drag my lazy arse out of bed before him. I need to prepare, and I really need to understand why this kid NEVER WANTS ME TO LEAVE THE LOUNGE ROOM.

He is fascinated with my makeup and has drawn a truly awesome mural on my bathroom wall. Unfortunatly he used foundation,so it looks like someone’s wiped their arse on my wall. I cant wash it off either,on account of JMM has not painted our bathroom yet. Stuff doesn’t wash off plaster to good. [Note to JMM..PAINT THE FUCKING HOUSE..PLEASE  🙂

Anyway..JMM asked Bubs who had made a mess on the wall.

His answer..”Mummy did! She’s really really naughty…you should smack her!”

[He wishes]  🙂

The child has turned into a compulsive liar of  late. A rather amusing stage and makes for much entertainment.

He pumped copius amounts of  hand cream into JMM’s alarm clock today.I watched him do it but fuckit it’s not MY alarm clock I dont need to drag my lazy arse  get up at a specific time, so I kind of forgot he was doing it…while I was watching him,cos ignorance IS bliss.

His Father noticed it and asked why he put hand cream in the alarm clock.

His answer was…” there is  nothing in the alarm clock and if there was I didnt do it. somebody else did it”

Other things he’s done this week include tipping a whole $50 tub of creatine into a pot of soup,[I made dinner Mummy!] glueing a 20 cent piece to my cupboard door,throwing my engagment ring down the toilet,and emptying a whole container of curash powder all over the spare bedroom. When I  got out of the shower the other morning he had grabbed himself some breakfast.

A plate of 6 tim-tams.

And now, instead of saying ” Oh my goodness!”, he is saying ” OH MY GOD!”. His Christian Grandfather will be wrapped about that when he comes to visit later this year.

Note to self- Oh please please please dont let him say Oh fucking hell while his Grandfather is here- I will DIE of embarassment [ or smiting]

Tonight the child was perched at the kitchen bench while I was cooking dinner.

He was “reading” a ” recipe” book and apparently we are having” fried toilets” for dinner…yum and not far off the shit I was making anyway  🙂

I would love to end this post with some adorable musings from J…but I only ever see him for the half hour he raids the pantry for when he gets home  after compression- sessioning with his dildo buddies.

Me- “Look how red your eyes are…when are you going to stop this crap it’s ridiculous”

Him” Orrrr mum,mum,commmonnn mum mum, it’s the wind I swear ya dont understand hey  its burning my eyes mum comeonnnn.”

He had his mate over the other day. Not a fucking braincell between them.

I called them Beavis and Butthead. They giggled at each other.

I give up.I love you, you dick and I hope to see you on the other side of “Teendom”.

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~ by shelly1971 on April 6, 2009.

4 Responses to “SOOKY MUSHY MOTHER STUFF…cos it’s my blog and I can if I want”

  1. oooooo Your young fella sounds like a right little character! lmao

  2. men never ever grow up. It is a fact.

  3. This is true. I’m hoping the “teen” changes just a little. and thankyou for commenting on my blog,cos your awesome and now I feel strangely validated…. 🙂

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