JUST MAKING SHIT UP AS I GO ALONG

I have just come from my kitchen,where I was leaning over the bench,shoving fistfuls of marshmallow into my mouth…cos I’m totally into the five  food groups.

It’s just that I find the other four are shit,boring and *shudder*,mostly healthy…and I’ll be having none of that.

Shit I side tracked myself…

What I was getting at was as I was shoving said mallows into my gob,I happened to look up at the T.V and the craptascular The Bold and The Beautiful was on and Holy Shit fucking  slutwhore  Brooke and Ridge have gone and gotten married!!! For the Gazillionth Billionth Millionth time!!

And they had their names written in the sand!!! *vomit*

( for my American readers we are wayyyy behind )

Well, at least he’s not trying to screw his stepkids anymore…

I am awaiting the day this show turns to Beastiality as all the humans have screwed each other ten times over….

My weekend was kinda sucky…

On Saturday night  HELL  came to my hood…The house behind me to be precise.

It appeared in the form  more commonly known as..”KARAOKE”.

I hate hate hate karaoke…Except If it were MY party and I was like all liquored up and the life of the fucking party and shit and I’d be like turn the fucking music up dudes!!!and get me a cruiser! and  just kicking back all fabulous and laughing at everyone else looking like dicks…

But no…It was the creepy dude behind us who’s always wayyyy to happy smiley smiley.

He’s always like ” Hi!!! how you going mate!! great? Excellent!!! Would you mind chuking my kids ball back over for us!!You will?!!Your Awesome!!Thanks a million Buddy!!Your a Champ!!…but imagine it all with a huge grin stuck to his face.

Freak.

 

You know the type. Looks like he could be out of a 50s sitcom but I’d bet my last marshmallow he’s really a fucked up freaky perve gutter crawling critter….cos no normal person on this godforsaken planet is that bloody happy…always….unless he has a suspicious “herb” or “mushroom” farm in his backyard..

Anyway…back to Hell.

From the sounds of things not to many people rocked up to his do…Which made the Karaoke sound even more painful, cos the crap singing was recycled twice as fast as it would have been at a large crowd.

Hours and hours of  incessant  worbling and fucking Cold Chisel songs later and my ears began to bleed. And then it got really bad.

The drunk singing.

I only just refrained from shoving sharpened pencils into my ears by throwing some Dexter on the DVD player…

I wish I had a Dexter….He’d be at a Karaoke party right now..  🙂

I’ll never forget this time when we were living in Melbourne. Some house in the next street had Karaoke set up for their kids,we asumed.

We only ever heard a couple of different singers but my god…it went on for DAYS.

It got so bad JMMs friends would occasionally yell obsenities out of the window when they visited.( I think we even considered launching a firework in their direction)

Karaoke is a punishment no decent human should have to endure…unless your comatose drunk..then it’s a free for all.

Bubs climbed into bed with me this morning…which he does every morning on account of him being my alarm clock.

He’s going through a very affectionate fase..which I am of course taking full advantage of. He’s giving me kisses and calling me “princess mummy” and hugging me and I said to him..

“Please dont grow up Bub,cos J is big and he doesn’t hug mummy anymore..”

And Bubs says…”I wont Mummy,I’ll stay little…and anyway,J really PISSES me off cos he comes home and eats all the food and stuff…he just PISSES me off!”

And I tried really hard not to laugh. The kid cracks me up. He’s such good value  🙂

P.S…for future reference “stonerboy” will now be known simply as J.. I was mega pissed at him when I wrote my first post and came up with that name, but have never liked using it, on account of me being an awesome mum and all…  🙂

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~ by shelly1971 on March 31, 2009.

8 Responses to “JUST MAKING SHIT UP AS I GO ALONG”

  1. ha ha your still one huge fucking tripper ,you make me laugh you havent changed a bit ,and yea you were a big bogan like me back in our school days ,I stil remember you in your tuff black jumper lol
    pen xoxoxo

  2. maybe you do know a Dexter, but he not gonna post up that he is…..you just have to ask….and be willing to share mashmallows!

  3. ARGH to Karaoke!!

    Young fella sounds so cute!

  4. He is heartbreakingly adorable..I am totally obsessed with him! lol

  5. Feed me marshmallows and I will carve up your neighbour into itty bitty pieces. I’m neat and discreet. 🙂

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