I’ve just come back from the shops with JMM and bubs.

I would much rather pull my finger nails out one by one than go shopping with bubs. It ‘s twice as bad when you live in a backward State thats all ‘Ohhhh!!!… fuckity no no!! We cant bring in 7 day trading!!! Im not giving up my Sunday surf to go to work dude…’

So of course, come Saturday every fucktard  within a 100km radius is all like….’O.M.G!!..we gotta rush to the shops cos they arent open tomorrow and if I dont have my M&Ms while Im watching SYTYCD Im gonna skitz the fuck out!!’ get the idea..MAYHEM.

One thing that makes me wanna go postal, viscerate and throat punch people is when WANKERS decide to stop and have a fucking family reunion or whatever in the middle of the mall. I mean why the hell cant they move to the side?

Other random things that make me want to throat punch people…

1. Dickheads that dont know how to navigate a rounderbout…I fucking HATE these people!!!..give way to the right you fucking morons!!And learn how to use your  indicator!

2.People that talk on their mobile phones in public..sorry.. I meant to say SHOUT on their phones… I really dont wanna here your crap so keep it down.

3. Checkout chicks…Not all need to be throat punched…just the ones that are more interested in recaping their weekend to the chick next to them than actually doing their JOB!…which at this time is to serve me…so fucking SERVE me biatch!!!

4. If I’m walking behind some dude and all of a sudden they come to a screaming stop, instead of moving to the side…well I wanna throat punch them to…move to the side people…to the side..

5.I hate people that indicate 4 turns before they actually do turn

6. It pisses me when people drive around with their indicator on

7.Why yes…I do suffer from road rage..thanks for your concern..[ bubs has,on occasion said ‘GET OFF THE ROAD YA DICK!” ]  I have no idea where he got  THAT  from…

8. Dudes that think it’s ok to just ‘pop over’ for a visit. I might be in the middle of ” hot sex” *smirk*…Or maybe I dont feel like entertaining your arse at the moment…so fucking  ring before hand …please..

9.News readers that speak like fucktards…ok ok..I know my grammar leaves much to be desired..but I know to say” An horrific” instead of “a horrific”..

10.Lazy workers..I’ve had many a person fired for dragging their lazy arse around..I’m not picking up the slack for you..fuck off…or get throat punched..

11.Religious oganisations of various denominations that continue to knock on my door, trying to save my soul and all…no spankyou very much…I lurvvveee mah durty freaky soul just the way it is…un[brain]washed. Suckit.

12.Parents that dont keep their kids in check at shopping centres…I dont think your grotty snot nosed kid is cute so keep him to yourself or i’ll “accidently” run him over with my trolley..

13.Stupid people…oh my..wouldn’t ones arm get sore from all those throat punches…

14. And the last one[ although I could go on forever]……..

TELSTRA…oh yerr…You suck!!! You know how many calls a week I get from these bowl biters…sometimes 2 a day…a curse on you fucking telstra..

Ahhhh….I’m starting to see the calm blue ocean. That was quite cathartic.


~ by shelly1971 on March 7, 2009.


  1. OMG, I so hear you. I’m going to be borrowing this post to do a right royal rant on my blog.

  2. so funny!!

    Telstra shit me up the wall too.

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