Bored.bored..bored….fucking bored am I.

Nothing to do…nothing to see..no chocolate in the house…whats a girl to do?

Every time bubs is outside playing, he ends up screaming…and I’ve been blaming the dog.

See, we have a 7  month old golden retriever..whom I like to refer to as horsedog…well..horsedog was always copping the blame for the bub’s outside hysterias…

Until today, when I ,on account of my total FUCKING BOREDOM….did me some spying…and eyespied..

The bubs…sitting there..just screaming..cos he could…with the dog sitting about 3 metres from him..just watching him scream..cos she could..and I was taken back…

To the time the horsedog copped it for pulling up all my plants….but then..

JMM tells me it was bubs that pulled up all my plants…woops…

Soooo…..as you can tell I’m a little ..neh…whateva..today..

JMM asks if I have written ze blog today..I say…Mmmm..cant really think of anything today????

And he says…Write about Me me me ME….cos I’m so fucking sexy and shit and you lurrrvvve me….

And I’m thinking……

Yeah…cool…I’ll tell all about that time when we first started living together and I came home from work one afternoon and stonerboy [ who was little stonerboy then] was sitting there on his own and I’m all like where’s JMM and he’s all like dunno he was gone when I got up and I’m thinking Prick!! how dare you leave my kid on his own [even though he’s 10 I ‘m still pissed] and I start looking around and I notice all his stuff is gone and then I see he’s taped a letter to the kitchen bench telling me he’s sooo sorry but he’s left me and gone back to Melbourne cos well the truth is he’s GAY! and not the fucking happy happy joy joy kind  and I’ll be perfect for the

right STRAIGHT  guy and I’m like Whooo what the fuck!!!! and I go nuts and drink a bottle of vodka and go to bed and then…

About 11 oclock that night the phone rings and it’s him and he’s half way across the Nullarbor and he says he cant do it he wants to come back….

And this is the story of the first time he left me.

There is one more.

He pays for it on a daily basis.

It’s why I have so many shoes.

And bags.

And I bet y’all $50 when he suggested I write something about him…he wasn’t thinking this….meh…

I’m unstable when I’m bored….

And just for the record…He’s not gay…not that there’s anything wrong with that….

And me thinks there’s a fire somewhere cos we have some major chopper action going on here….


~ by shelly1971 on March 2, 2009.

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