UFOs..the drugs dont work and other non-sensical ramblings

I’m bloody tired on account of my reading frenzy and all [3 books down] and counting. Any hoo,was in a deep sleep and was woken at some ungodly hour yesterday  morning by what sounded like a UFO landing on the front lawn.JMMs already looking out the window.

‘Did you hear that noise?.The neighbours wheely bins knocked into the street! I think someone’s tried to steel their car!’

Ok…that makes more sense than a UFO…now fuck off to work and let me go back to sleep already. But no, it’s not to be cos an hour later Fruitloop’s in bed with me sceaming that his ‘arms broken’..[pins and needles] and he’s yelling over and over ‘come in the lounge room,come in the lounge room come on come oonnn…

And I’m like it’s way to early go back to bed and he patters out of  my room and the TV goes on and bloody Wall-E and EVE-A the robots are talking to each other and I want to kill myself for buying the fucking things for him yesterday and then he starts on ‘ I dont like this show I dont like it turn it over!” So I drag my arse out of bed and he’s whingeing at me for LIFT softdrink and I say no so then he starts screaming and the cats spot me and start crying at me for their breakfast and the fucking dog is eating my plant cos she wants her breakfast and…..

GOOD FUCKING MORNING to me!!!….oh fuck!  you house full of loons…at least let me make my coffee!

The other night we went to sizzler with ze neighbours.W e are waiting in the driveway, watching them load their kids in the car…and the Fruitloop starts.

‘I want to go for a BBQ!’


[ cos we usually have bbqs with them].

No we’re going out for dinner ,Fruitloop, with m** to sizzler. Remember? We took you there last week?

Noooo!!! I want to go with m**!. I want to go to a BBQ !

We are going to sizzler with m**. He will be there..ok?

‘NNoooo’ I wanna….blah blah blah, y’all get the drift right? This crap went on alllll the way there. About a 20 minute drive.  Without a break in the hysteria. So we finally pull into sizzler car park, tun off the car and fruitloop says…..

‘ NOOOOO !!!’ I dont wanna come here!!!! I wanna go to SIZZLERS HOUSE!!!!

Oh fuck me…just let me inside so I can get me a Vodka cruiser…. or 4.

And this is why he is called Fruitloop…and it’s but a few short stories..

I wasn’t planning on talking about what ails me on ze internetz…but goddammit!!! I need sympathy! so I shall try and keep it short and sweet.

I had an emergency C section with Fruitloop, had  a bit of pain since, but the past year it’s become excruciating.I’ll get maybe 3 so so days then I’m In agony. I couldn’t get into my normal GP on account that he rocks and it takes two weeks to get an appointment [and he was in singapore]..so I go to see another dude and he examines me and freaks and tells me I have an incarcerated Hernia and ‘ get thee to emergency room stat!’

Which I fucking peak at cos I hate going to hospital and the place Im goin…well sometimes you aint never seen again…

So I go to emergency and after waiting for 5 hours to be seen I finally get a cubicle and some morphine that doesn’t do a fucking thing and none of the doctors that see me think it’s hernia, they all think something different and finally send me for an ultrasound.

So another 3 hours later, after thinking I must have fucking cancer and they dont wanna tell me, a doctor dude says he thinks I have an’ Inclusion cyst and edema” underneath my scar and fuck off  home and just put up with it cos we aint doing nothing for y’all here.

So weeks pass and I cant take it anymore so I make an appointment with my GP who rocks. My appointment’s for 4.40. I’m finally seen at 6.30. Ohhh yerrr. Two hours in a waiting room with Fruitloop. Shoot me.

My GP who rocks tells me yes, I do have a Hernia of sorts…all be it a rare thingy called ‘Spigilian Hernia’  So like my nerves are sticking out through a whole inside me or some crap and that’s why I’m in so much pain and the drugs dont work..Pain and no fucking drugs that work!!!! Ripped off…

Fuck me!! I cant even get any good drugs! So now I’m off  for another ultrasound and appointment with some surgeon  dude that loves cutting peoples guts open, cos apparently I’m gonna find it a little tricky to get a surgeon to fix it, on account of people going nuts on sueing surgeons for malpractice and all..

The only good thing about it is my GP who rocks told JMM I’m not to do a fucking thing!  Thats right! No activity at all….which is no different really.

And let me say this…. I had to wait 8 fucking hours in emergency to be seen…Ya know why? Cos it was full of dicks that had colds and the flu and infected piercings and junkies and shit…Hey morons!…Make an appointment with a fucking doctor! emergency is for EMERGENCYS….derrr

And Anja…that book ‘fractured’  fuked me up… I got to page 75 before  I started bawling my eyes out….I’ts a fucking sick sick world…

Phobia of the week is…Keraunothnetophobia – Fall of man-made satellites.


~ by shelly1971 on February 28, 2009.

2 Responses to “UFOs..the drugs dont work and other non-sensical ramblings”

  1. Honey, as someone who works in emergency (when I’m not carving up corpses) I can tell you it is bollocks what some people come in with. Ingrown toenails, constipation, splinters, get a fucking grip.

    And these are the some mental giants who will scream at the triage nurse because they have been waiting for hours to be seen.

  2. Some[most] people just dont have a clue do they?

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